As a modern rendition of the classic fairytale Cinderella, “Unexpected Love” is the thrilling story of a so-called nerd, Dexter, finding love in Marissa, the most beautiful girl in school, at his prom only to have run away from this romance to protect himself from his jock brothers, who cannot stand the idea of defeat. The strategic use of language in scene 2 of “Unexpected Love” was very effective in keeping the target audience engaged.
When not only a girl, but the girl of Dexter’s dreams is actually keeping a conversation with him, Dexter nervously says, “A-a-re you cold? H-h-here-! Take my jacket!” (I_AM_ME. et al, Storium.com) The authors are able to resonate with the intended teenage audience as well as capture the nervousness in Dexter’s voice in the face of this once in a lifetime opportunity. The balance of dialogue in the story keeps the story easy and interesting to follow. In addition to this, writing the words just as they are said, or stuttered, puts readers in the place of the characters, enhancing their reading experience.
When the trio of jock brothers catch a glimpse of Dexter talking to “their” girl, the authors describe the brothers’ anger as creeping up on their simple minds like vines, and the situation is compared to a dog whose bones have been snatched away from him. (Dann59. et al, Storium.com) Here, the reader is driven to see vines slowly wrapping around the brothers’ sorry bodies and an enraged boneless dog. Using similes to compare events and feelings in the story make it easier for the audience to visualize what is happening in the story because the comparisons provide imagery in the readers’ minds. Such comparisons also make the writing more beautiful as they add elements of detail to the story.
After Dexter makes it clear that he feels Marissa and he are doomed because of his abrupt exit from prom, the authors follow up with, “Little did he know, however, who would be showing up the next day.” (Dann59. et al, Storium.com) At the end of a scene, these kinds of suspenseful phrases get the audience excited to continue reading. Suspense keeps readers at the edge of their seat, making them invested in the story and want to keep going to find out what is to come and how it plays out for the characters.
Although the language in scene 2 of “Unexpected Love” is simple, it is strategic to catch the attention of the story’s desired audience, the teenage population. This easily understood language seeks to keep readers of that age engages while conveying the mood, building suspense, and making the audience feel connected to the characters.
Dann59, FinesseGod3416, I_AM_ME, TheArtist14. “Unexpected Love”. Storium. Scene 2. https://storium.com/game/group-3–2/act-1/scene-2.