I have to admit I did not have many expectations for this movie. I have a bad habit of writing off movies made before the 1980s (1990s if I’m being honest), and hearing it was a melodrama made me even more skeptical, however, I thought this movie was far from over dramatic or laughable. All That Heaven Allows surprised me with its depth, especially in how it shows the ways society tries to control women, forcing them into roles instead of letting them follow their hearts. Even though it was made in 1955, and despite what many people will say about how society has progressed since then, the pressure Cary faces as a widow, mother, and woman feels incredibly modern, and, honestly, very familiar.
One of the most infuriating aspects of the film is how Cary’s own children treat her, especially when they beg her not to marry Ron and then barely care when she calls off the engagement. Ned’s character angered me most, telling her she can’t marry Ron because she was his father’s wife. Ned reduces Cary to nothing more than an object that once belonged to his father which acted as stark reminder of how deeply ingrained patriarchal values can be. Kay’s character also was a bleak reminder of what society can do to young women. She genuinely wants the best for her mom, but she’s so wrapped up in what society thinks that she can’t see beyond it, and, sadly, it is hard to move past it when you’re that age still finding your place.
In contrast, Ron presents a beautiful chance for Cary to break free. He’s mature, grounded, and in touch with the reality of life and what is truly important. He spends his time growing trees, watching things develop slowly and naturally, which is the exact opposite of the rigid social expectations that surround Cary. Ron is the one who helps her see that she’s been stuck on this “merry-go-round” of pleasing others and, with him, she gets a glimpse of what life could be like if she finally puts herself first.
One of the most powerful scenes I found in the film was when Ned gets Cary a TV for Christmas despite her clear desire to not own one. Society’s insistence that she buy a TV to avoid being lonely, suggesting she fill the void in her life with a screen rather than real connection, is clearly misguided and frankly insulting. When Cary is framed in the dark TV screen, shiny and new with a bow on top, we see the true sadness that society’s shallow solutions give. Even if in the short run media can consume one’s time and attention, once the screen is off, you are left hollow and empty as the screen itself.
All That Heaven Allows is more than just a romance, it’s a commentary on how society tries to box women in, dictating how they should live, love, and grieve. Cary’s journey is a reminder that stepping off the merry-go-round is hard, especially when everyone around you is pushing you to stay on, but, it is also a story about finding the courage to live your own life, even when the world tells you not to.
One question I had for this film was the role that clocks play. In many of the cuts between scenes, a clock was shown, whether it was the large town clock or the grandfather clock in Cary’s house. I interpreted it as a tool to show time passing but also a reminder of Cary’s age. Clearly, she is a beautiful woman, and, frankly doesn’t look that much older than Ron, but society insists on placing her ‘ticking clock’ at the forefront of most conversations. Are the clocks acting as a symbol of Cary’s passing youth or was there more meaning hidden within them?
Hey Victoria! I think your blog post is really well written and thought out. I 100% agree with everything you stated in your post. I, too, was very skeptical about this movie, and even as I am writing this post, I still did not care too much for it. It is not something I would choose myself to watch, but then again the movie was depicted as something women would like to watch. You mentioned how Carry’s own children were sickened at the thought of her marrying Ron. That instance really angered me as well because they were very upset and chose to not take the time to truly see how Cary was feeling. What struck a nerve for me even more was toward the end of the movie, Kay and Ned come home for Christmas, and they are talking about how Kay is getting married and how Ned is studying abroad so now they can sell the house. I found it very odd how they now wanted to sell the house but when Carry wanted to sell it and move in with Ron it was the biggest “inconvenience” for them. It just showed me how ignorant and self centered people can be.
Hi Victoria. I was hoping that someone would do a psychoanalysis of Cary and her kids! First off, the notes I took during the film are very similar to what you have written. I have the quote “how can you think of marrying Kirby when you have been father’s wife” bolded. Initially, I was surprised that her kids would, and did, subscribe to the same societal expectations that her friends did. I assumed, rather hopefully, that her obvious divergence and rejection of upper-echelon superficiality would be observable in Ned and Kay’s humanity too. Nope!
As you mentioned, Ned, in particular, was patronizing and manipulate. I love your interpretation of him gifting her a TV. Not only does it follow him (and Kay, to a key) being revisionist historians and undermining/indirectly shrugging off their earlier sentiments about Ron poisoning their family image (which, unfairly, unfortunately, and unsurprisingly resulted in Cary swallowing her feelings for Ron), but it might be one of the most devastating acknowledgements of Cary “aging”—your point about time was very astute. When I think of my elders, sitting on the couch all day and watching TV is prominent trope. She is literally and figuratively boxed into the stereotype of a permanently-grieving widow in the shot of the box TV. It is brilliant. Well done!!
Hi Victoria,
I found your insights extremely interesting to read. I appreciated how you began your discussion by talking about how the Kids treated Cary, as that to me was one of the most startling parts of the film. You expect the stereotypical snooty towns folk to reject a new idea of love but I was surprised by how opposed Cary’s children were to Ron. It would be natural if the kids would be adverse to their mother remarrying. Still, I agree with your comment that their controlling and antagonistic demeanor came to match the society that was rejecting her decision.
However, I do disagree with your reading that Ned is objectifying his mother in the line “you were father’s wife”. In my opinion, Ned doesn’t see his mother as only his father’s object, as in a previous scene \, Ned is more than ok with the idea of his mother remarrying, when he perceives it to be her previous high-status boyfriend. I think that Ned sees his mother as someone with her own agency, free of her late husband, but that she needs to adhere to the societal rules and expectations that their family is a part of. As you bring up, Cary is a member of high society, and therefore is pressured into maintaining an image of that status regardless of whether her husband is still alive. However, I do partially agree with your argument as it is implied through their trophy admiration scene that her husband is the reason for the family’s status which could show how society still views her status as a by-product of her being his “object”.
Hi Victoria! I had the same apprehensions about the film! Pre-80’s film never caught my attention because the pacing and sometimes they feel very drawn-out to me like they lack momentum. But after seeing this film I’d like to watch more because I think the trade off is a much more romantic film. But speaking of pace and time I think the presence and absence of clocks speak on the different types of lives that Cary and Ron live. I once read something along the lines that the emergence of capitalism during which people moved from farms, to cities with factories led to a more time-oriented, clock obsessed society because labor hours determined pay and such. I thought Ron’s cabin (pretty much like a farm) had little to no clocks which I thought reflected his spontaneous, authentic, forget those societal expectations kind of philosophy. This could also speak on how Cary’s age meant nothing to him. Cary obviously initially cared more about those societal expectations however but stepping into Ron’s world was like an escape where material items and such suddenly no longer mattered.