Journal 3 – Gabrielle Stearns

It is easier to begin with the ways I disidentify with Mei than how I identify with her. We are different races; Mei is Asian and I am white. Our gender is the same, but I am cisgender and Mei is transgender. These two details alone make our experiences living in the world and interacting with others very different. To put it succinctly, I don’t identify with Mei because my outward appearance gives me significantly more privilege than she has.

The ways I identify with her are much more abstract and internal. We are both queer women who can find community and connection with other queer women. This is seen in the book in Mei’s friendships with Connie and Annette, and her tentative relationship with Diane.

I also identify with Mei’s sense of place in rural Canada. I grew up very close with my aunt who lived in rural New Brunswick, Canada. Mei’s descriptions of the community and nature remind me intensely of my own experiences running into neighbors in the grocery store and canoeing to the middle of a lake. My aunt died a few months ago and I haven’t been back to Canada since. The small details of Mei’s experience felt both familiar and foreign, like experiences that have not happened to me but are in my near future. I identify with her sadness and her pull to revisit old memories. I don’t know when I will return to New Brunswick, but I suspect I will find even more ways I identify with Mei’s mourning when I do.

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