The trouble with talking is…

…You can’t always communicate your feelings.

In the first English entry of Yun Ch’i Ho’s journal, Yun acknowledges his desire to increase his understanding and proficiency in the English language. He says his “vocabulary is not as yet rich enough to explain all what I want to say. I am therefore determined to keep a Diary in English.” While his grammar and handwriting both appear to improve throughout the next few entries, a lack of understanding of the words of his peers is apparent. Within the first page Yun discusses the faith of both a white school friend, Jordan, and another young black man, Jacob. Yun defines during his discussion of faith, the problem he has with his surroundings. Jacob is extremely devout and happy, yet Yun’s white schoolmates are part of what keeps Jacob isolated and ignorant. Similarly he feels isolated by his own racial difference that keep him isolated and ignorant in many ways.

In describing the Methodist faith he has adopted, Yun describes his doubt in a society whose treatment and disregard for black people goes against what he believed was the very foundation of their religious beliefs. Just a few weeks later, Yun writes about a published Methodist missionary statement that condemns every aspect of his homeland, crushing the minimal hope he had in finding cultural acceptance in the Emory community. What’s worse, Yun goes so as far as to accept their insults and rationalize the critical view white people have of Korea. The paper said, “the missionaries would rather go hungry [in America], than be the president of Korea.”

Yun would later describe how opposed he was to removing a white woman from her privileged existence in Georgia, to a less stately home in Korea explaining that it would be an insult to her. Despite this conclusion that reached Yun much later in his life, as the time of writing his diary he was clearly hurt by the derogatory depiction of his homeland and which contributed to his lack of confidence in romancing women while at Emory. The second hand evidence published about Yun’s time at Emory suggests other influences of romantic suppression on him. This evidence stands out to me as a real blow to a man’s self esteem, especially one who is already so isolated and alone.

Due to cultural and social divides that still exist at Emory today, I have seen first hand how limiting these divisions can be. Even in an academic world where our professional networks cross all race, gender and religious barriers, there are still pronounced obstacles in social and romantic settings. There are ethnic groups that exist almost entirely independently on campus, gender equality groups that still avoid other social organizations and religious groups that recruit as competitively as Greek life.

There are still nostalgic cultural bounds that form the expectations many students face at home. Even in a place that brings Jews, Muslims and Christians together in droves, the possibility of pursuing a romantic relationship across those barriers is still questionable. Things that define our family’s past can make crossing the paths and boundaries almost impossible as it conflicts with our effort to seek our family’s approval. Even when the home we have here is open and accepting (which it certainly isn’t always) the homes that we go back to are often still isolated and underhandedly discriminatory.

4 thoughts on “The trouble with talking is…

  1. In regards to the first paragraph, it assumes a lot when you say “a lack of understanding of the words of his peers is apparent”. The two inherent issues that come with this claim are not only are you are devaluing his diary but also challenging the parts were he appropriately interpreted his peers racist remarks.

    Reading the rest of your blog definitely brought up ideas that I hadn’t originally realized. For instance, being a certain race isolated him which impacted the cultural knowledge he could have gained.

    • When reading Yun’s initial diary entries, I found a surprising amount of misunderstanding in his interpretation of his school mates. His first entry describes his experience picking out a Christmas tree with a classmate and then he goes on to talk about how he regretted missing church that morning because his foot was sore. In the same entry he mentions an insult by a classmate toward Jacob, his black acquaintance, but Yun does not seem to recognize the insult yet.
      While I acknowledge that his writing and understanding more than likely developed and changed while at Emory, I think Yun was a bit naive initially.

  2. J: After reading your post, I am left wondering a few things: 1) how do you know he didn’t understand his peers? Can you post a picture of the passages you are referring to so we, as readers, can draw our own conclusions? 2) How do you know Jacob is Black? He may have been, but I am wondering where Yun met him since Emory was not racially integrated until the 1960’s. Perhaps Jacob lived in Covington near Oxford, I just wondered if what you read explained that. 3) in your modern day comparison you talk about the perpetuation of what some call affinity groups (based on religion or race, etc.) You refer to a “gender equality” group- what does that mean? People working for gender equality? I’m confused.

  3. 1) In the first entry of his journal, Yun didn’t understand the significance of going to pick out a Christmas tree.
    2) So in re-reading the journal entry, I found that Jacob is not identified as black. Yun describes him as “poor, poorer than [Yun] – but so much resigned to God’s work and tersely confident in his providence that he seems more contented than rich men.”
    Jacob told him that, “the Southerner looks down on a negro with as much contempt as on a brute, that the Southerner wishes to keep the negro in ignorance.” I assumed that this was a personal reflection, but there’s no evidence to support my assumption.
    3) I find that the LGBTQ community, like many of the affinity groups at Emory, has an exclusivity to it that reduces the impact such groups are supposed to have on the community. The point of affinity groups is to introduce people to a group that makes them feel more comfortable while also reaching out to the community to build understanding and acceptance. Here at Emory however, this does not seem to occur. There is a movement of education by a small subset of individuals while the rest are almost exclusively associated with members of their own group.

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