Had this been my freshman year of college, doing anything for myself would’ve been out of the question. Doing something as useless as painting my nails would’ve been a heinous waste of time. However, while my freshman year was undoubtedly my most productive year, it was also my unhappiest. In complete contrast, my current junior year has been my least productive so far. Instead of overloading my class credits and overcommitting to too many clubs, I have a schedule of only 13 credits and a few extracurriculars. I constantly struggle with feeling insanely guilty for not doing enough or at least not as much as I used to. But, I’m happier. I have time to work at a job I love, to indulge in self care, and to just enjoy being present and taking delight in the simplicity of my life alone in my quiet apartment. I have never and likely will never be able to live in such a little oasis of peace again, and I hope to savor it as much as I can before it’s gone. Now I paint my nails every week or sometimes even more just because it brings me joy, and I’ll strive to continue to do so as long as it makes me happy because it’s become like a rebellion against the crushing guilt that threatens my contentment.