I’d like to preface this blog entry by saying that I am currently in an 2-3 day trek back from New York where the soccer team’s flight back to Atlanta was cancelled due to Hurricane Sandy wreaking havoc all up the east coast. I’m not trying to gain sympathy points, merely stating that the wifi access I have is very limited and painfully slow so my entry may not retain some of the reading information (and also I may not be able to make class on Tuesday morning).

They say that communication is key in a relationship. I’d like to further that and say that communication is key in a sexual relationship. Most people seem to shy away from conversations of sex especially when talking to people of opposite gender. In society, the topic of sex seems to be taboo until it comes to a political or celebrity scandal. Otherwise, sex is personal and hush hush. We’re not talking about it as kids until our parents give us the “birds and bees” talk and don’t tell me that wasn’t one of the worst conversations you’ve had with your parents. So why would we talk about it in high school, college, and in our adult lives? It’s so essential to a healthy sexual experience.

“…research suggests that women are often lacking in the training and socialization necessary to be effective communicators in sexual relationships” (Moore 172). The only way to learn is to be taught and experience it. The only way to really gain an experience is to become intimate with someone for a long period of time until the comfort level sets in. Once the comfort is there, usually the communication will follow. But what if someone never had the comfort of being in a sexual relationship early on in life? College hits, and the random hookups begin. Not a lot of freshman are going to have the confidence to openly communicate with a random hook up partner. If there’s a lack of confidence, you risk a bad sexual experience. Are you using birth control? Do you have a condom? Are you comfortable with this? These and more questions have to be communicated.

Confidence comes with experience. Experience comes with intimacy. In college, many people don’t get the gift of intimacy. Usually it’s quick, one or two night stand, and then get out. Sorry, but those frat beds are not big enough for two people. It comes down to cuddling and awkward morning chats or enjoying the comforts of your own bed… which do you prefer? There may not be a good chance for communication, especially after a sexual encounter; however, it has to happen. Otherwise, there’s a good chance that some poor girl will be walking to CVS to pick up that plan B the next morning. “College women are more likely to experience feelings of anxiety, nervousness, embarassment, and guilt during their first sexual intercourse rather than excitement and pleasure…” (Moore 172). Nervous and embarassed college girls don’t sound like the type that are about to ask if their sexual partner has a STI.

Along with prevention of sexually transmitted diseases/infections, communication helps partners discover pleasure and fun during sexual intercourse. Saying what you like, where, and asking questions can only help one’s self and partners pleasure. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it may be completely worth it. You know your body better than anyone else, so telling a partner what you like will help achieve a heightened sense of pleasure.

Communication will help prevent disease, pregnancy, and dissatisfaction.

Moore, Nelwyn, and Kenneth Davidson. Communicating with New Sex Partners. Print.