Sexual Identity: Desire, Dating and Marriage
Talks with S
We can describe desire as something or someone that one may want, dating as an activity that two persons engage themselves in together as a couple, and marriage as an institution that includes the legal acknowledgement of a commitment made by this couple. The traditional model of sexuality included a man desiring a woman and visa versa. The inclusive model now acknowledges men desiring other men, women desiring other women, men desiring both men and women and so on. Our global society has although now acknowledged this new inclusive model, it hasn’t wholeheartedly accepted this new trend. It is believed that our desires occur from certain hormones and other bodily fluids that are secreted by our brain and body glands. When one is attracted to another individual, it isn’t under our control. The terms such as “love is blind” and “love at first sight” aren’t just cheesy lines created by the romanticists, but actually hold scientific proof of attraction among human beings. Although the topics of men loving other men, women loving other women and so on, have surfaced only in recent years, this actually wouldn’t have been the real case. I believe that this would have been experienced ever since the existence of human civilization. The first male may have desired the first female, and thus as eventually societies settled and grew, this must have become the norm. If a female would have desired another female, she would have thought of it as just “caring” for the other female and distracted herself by getting attracted to another man. However, now, that the subject of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, etc. is out in the open, the global society needs to understand that this is the real case. Desires are beyond a female wanting a man’s biological organ and a man wanting a female’s biological organ. Desires include emotions, feelings and wants. Such qualities can also be accomplished by one after being with someone of the same sex.
As I mentioned before, society has at least acknowledged the fact that some individuals may desire someone belonging to the same sex. Now after desiring someone, the next step comes to dating. When couples of different genders show their affection publically, it may be viewed as “the norm”, however, when couples of the same sex show the same kind of affection, one may look away out of disgust. This, again pointing out that society hasn’t accepted the inclusive sexuality model. If a “straight” female is allowed to date a male, then why is a gay male not allowed to date another gay male? And then why are they not allowed to get married? Today in modern society, we view marriage as an activity that a couple partakes in to legally prove their love towards each other, thereby giving them a legal title and also health, social, pension and other such benefits. Our Human Rights give us the legal right to choose our own lifestyle, choose our dating mate and our own life partner. Since the law cannot command a white- 6 feet tall- male to only date or marry a 5 feet 10 inches tall –white- female, it shouldn’t be allowed to define what a people belonging to the queer group should be allowed to do. If he or she desires, wants to date or marry someone of the same sex, he or she should be allowed to do so. At the end of the day, it has been proven by scientists, psychologist, doctors, and other such professionals that one does not “choose” their sexuality, it is what one is “born with.”
This process of gaining societal and legal acceptance, along with acknowledgement of same-sex marriages will take several years to accomplish as this issue is fairly new. The first step should be to re-define marriage as the union of two individuals of any sexual orientation and sexual identity, and not just as the union of a male with a female.