I feel that in today’s society, we tend to overlook the severity of discrimination that still exists against inter-racial relationships. With gay marriage as a major political debate, it is easy to forget that mixed-race marriage was against in the law in our country until 1967. Through his interviews with various couples, Patrick Johnson demonstrates the struggles that many gay couples have been forced to face – including racism. In his book, Sweet Tea, Johnson interviews various men who were in committed, long-term, gay relationships. Johnson not only focused on the homosexual relationships, but also inter-racial relationships between gay individuals.

I would love to see how well The Notebook or Hunger Games would have done in the box office if the main character wasn’t white, or better yet, wasn’t heterosexual. Johnson’s unique approach to this paper was interesting, and reminded me that discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is just as wrong as racial discrimination.

Bob’s story in Johnson’s Sweet Tea was a touching and poetic. While reading his story, I couldn’t help but think that his experience consisted of every element necessary to create a blockbuster romantic film. Bob met his partner in the military in 1968. The two didn’t see each other again until John happened to come across his number a year later while enrolled in Emory’s nursing program. Rare stories like this are all you need to make a romantic movie; however, I wonder how many people would run to the movie theater to catch this love story between two men. Lately, there have been many movies and television programs with homosexual themes (e.g. Milk, HBO), but I think it is overly optimistic at this point to say that discrimination (racial, sexual orientation) doesn’t exist in Hollywood any more. In fact, racism is still very much alive – especially in Hollywood. Brokeback Mountain was groundbreaking in Hollywood film history. It opened the doors for filmmakers to take on gay themes in film without as much fear of failure. I can’t help but wonder… how would the reaction to the film have changed if one of the main characters had been black. An inter-racial, gay relationship? I think I know what the answer to that question is… but I will let you decide.

Another Part of Bob’s story that caught my eye was the fact that he met his partner in the Military. Racial segregation was government policy until Truman’s order in 1948, which allowed for people with any race, color, religion, and national origin to have equal treatment. It boggles my mind how It was only a year ago when “don’t as, don’t tell” was repealed. People, regardless of sexual orientation, were allowed to serve openly in the military. Wikipedia’s definition of  “Don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT) is: a United States policy that prohibited military personnel from discriminating against closeted homosexual/bisexual service members, while barring openly gay/lesbian/bisexual person from military service. The only thing I can think of is why the hell did it take so long for this ridiculous policy to get repealed?

The articles we read solely focused on gay men as opposed to both genders within homosexuality. It is important to realize that men and women are not thought of equally- especially when discussing same sex relationships. In one of CDC’s regular health surveys, it was noted that there was an increased trend in the percent of women who had a homosexual experience in the past 10 years. Why would the sexual encounters of women increase but men stay fairly stagnant?

I believe that it’s the stigma associated with lesbians and gays. The media displays female homosexuality as hot and erotic. These ideas are reciprocated through the impressionable minds of young ones. I don’t think our society would use the same adjectives to describe male homosexuality. So there are negative connotations associated with gay men. This is a case of double standards where one gender is unfairly scrutinized. An example of this is in the 1981 Emory Report, mentioning male nurses are discriminated against their female counterparts. It might not mean much when reading, but it impacts a lot of men.

There was a recent psychological study done that focused on the arousal patterns of males. It was found that although many men might categorize themselves as bisexual although they were only attracted to males. Similarly we read about men on the “down low” who will have encounters with other men while not identifying as bisexual or homosexual. I think there are many reasons why men would not want to identify as gay (an extreme over being bisexual). As seen in the Emory Report from 1985-1987, it is very clear that homosexuality was a trait that was discriminated against. It would have put a faculty member at risk for their position, a student in fear of their grades, and unfair restrictions on a group.

It seems weird to think that in progressive times, we are still discriminating. In a time when we have debates about same-sex marriage, discuss sexuality in schools and households; we still have people fearful of revealing their identity. Even when an entire university tries to prevent discrimination, they fail to mention discrimination towards homosexuals. Steps need to be taken and stereotypes need to be removed before we start seeing a change in the trends.

http://brainblogger.com/2010/12/06/is-the-future-bisexual/

Queer Identity in the South

 Talks with S

 10/05/2012

The question I wish to address is: Can one be categorized as gay (or lesbian) only when one is able to come out? Some may agree to this, explaining that only after “coming out” can one enjoy the so- called advantages or LGBT led- community privileges of being gay. One benefit is the formation of a community that can together experience the difficulties that one may have to face within our society, thereby minimizing the impact of such stress on oneself. The overall advantage that the entire LGBT community may encounter is its visibility, since an increasing number of individuals are able to find their niche in the new “inclusive model.” “Coming out has been used as an effective political tool, based on the logic that until gays and lesbians are ‘seen’ as a significant minority voting group, we will not have access to civil or human rights. One has to be visible to ‘have’ an identity” (Smith 374).“The act of coming out and the coming-out narrative have been considered foundational to the development of a lesbian/ gay group consciousness” (Smith 373). Back in the 1940’s and 1950’s “coming out” was about acknowledging “ones feelings.” This process only included admitting to oneself and other trusted friends or family members that one had same-sex desires (Smith, 374). Now it seems as though “coming out” is a process where one is required to literally “come out” of ones comfort zone and address their sexual preference to the entire human population. In my opinion, “coming out” to oneself is essential as this leads to one respecting themselves, and giving due credit to ones own desires. This is required to attain mental, physical and physiological peace. Although there may be advantages of “coming out” to society as well, it can lead both ways, leaving the individual in deep distress. This decision should be personal after weighting all pros and cons; however, acknowledging ones sexual desires to themselves should be of utmost importance. One should have enough admiration for themselves to “come out” of their own closet with themself.

While there can be severe drawbacks of “coming out” anywhere in America, the shortcomings can be worse in the South. This is so because some may consider the South to be more racist, more sexist, more violent, more heterosexist, and more violent that the North (Smith 378). In general, the terms “southern” and “queer” do not go hand-in-hand. This is because Southerners are also considered “more passionate, more religious, more polite, and more generous than the rest of the nation” (Smith 378). It is viewed that Southerners hold high significance for family values, and this is their utmost priority in life. On the other hand, queer individuals are looked as individuals who are “inimical to the nuclear family” and they prioritize their same-sex desires before their family values (Smith 379). Thus, it may seem difficult for one to be a Southern gay. Donna Jo Smith states,

What could be more apparent, this [it’s harder to be queer in the South than in the rest of the nation] myth assumes, than that queers in the South not only would want to leave home but literally would be ‘required’ to leave home, as a matter of survival? And of course, like all myths, this one contains its grain of truth, reflecting some southern queer realities (381).

While this may hold true for “some” Southern queers, it may not do so for all. Some southerners actually want to stay in the South because they love the south and would deal with all the nuances they may have to face because of their love for the south. “They [white southern queers] are from the South, they like the South, and they will fly the Confederate flag proudly if they feel like it” (Smith 380).

As a particular example, Southern gay black men, like everyone else, “wish to be desired and are on the lookout for companionship, in spite of the difficulties they face [d] in society, within their families, and with each other” (Johnson 430 & 431). In the various stories on love and relationships presented by E. Patrick Johnson, in Sweet Magnolias, we encounter various such real life encounters. Many stories had people claim that they received great support from the Southern families of their same-sex partners. Statements such as “friendly treatment by immediate family of their partners” (Johnson 459) and “a lot of warmth from family” (Johnson 460) were used in this essay. Other stories mentioned it to be very difficult to express their sexuality in the South if you were black and gay (Johnson 464). In my view, “Southerners” accepting people having same-sex desires are conditional to ones culture and upbringing, as combinations of diverse opinions are found everywhere. After all being from the South or North are just “state of minds” (Smith 377).

Citations:

Johnson, E. Patrick. “Sweet Tea: Black Gay Men of the South”

Smith, Donna Jo. “Queering the South: Constructions of Southern/Queer Identity”

Coming out takes a lot of courage and confidence. It can be rewarding, but also can lead to negative results. The pros of coming out are gaining self-confidence and becoming a part of a new community. But sometimes, gay individuals can feel isolated and more comfortable just hidden from society staying in the closet [1].

Unfortunately gay and lesbian people have been faced with much social bullying in America. As stated in the New York Times on May 20, 2011, a homosexual freshmen at Rutgers University committed suicide after his roommate had put up a video of a romantic interlude with him and another man [2]. This is extremely unacceptable and it is terrible that things like this are still happening in the world.

After this, the New York Times began a project entitled “Coming Out” so America could better understand this generation’s realities and expectations [2]. They contacted about 100 gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender kids from all types of environments and spoke with them. It is interesting to see how gay individuals face different treatment in various parts of the country. There is even another project called the “The Trevor Project” which hopes to provide counseling to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender kids. I’m glad there are support groups for individuals that have to go through bullying like this. No one should have to go through this sort of trauma.

Even though instances such as these have been happening up till present day, efforts have been taken to prevent them since 1996. In the Emory Report on September 30, 1996, it was stated in an article titled “Shared Heart exhibit features stories of lesbian and gay youth” that “the shared heart exhibition’s creators hope that the stories of courage and victory told by the young people whose lives are documented in the text and photos will help create a sense of belonging for lesbian, gay and bisexual students and build understanding and acceptance with their peers, teachers, parents and communities”. This is reassuring that there are many efforts being taken in order to prevent this discrimination.

In addition, in the Emory Report on June 9, 1997, in an article titled “’Queering the South’ connects academics, activists and artists” states that there was a conference that will “bring together representatives from each of these groups to focus on how living in the South shapes lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender experiences”. Again almost a year later after the Shared Heart exhibition, there are even more conferences addressing issues amongst these individuals.

People are definitely aware of the type of bullying that occurs among homosexual individuals, and many people actively take actions to prevent this bullying. In media especially, with shows like Glee where they show same sex kissing, these interactions are being shown as acceptable in society [2]. Even pop stars such as Lady Gaga sing songs indirectly accepting different people with her song entitled “Born This Way”. But there will always be people who are not ok with this type of interactions.

[1] Queering the South: Construction of Southern/Queer Identity by Donna Jo Smith

[2] http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/23/us/23out.html?_r=0

  I remember myself laughing after seeing a bumper sticker that said “Female Asian Driver, Good Luck Everyone Else!” Even though we know such ‘stereotype jokes’ can be very offensive to some people, many people tend to enjoy them. I am an Asian male student who drives, but I just laughed about the joke, simply because it was funny (or maybe because I was only half-mocked by the sticker). After finding an article called “Fair Sex Analyzed In Experiment At Tufts” in The Emory Wheel printed on February 8th, 1934, I noticed that exactly the same type of joke have been around for at least 78 years. This made me think that some aspects of sexuality maybe are not changing much.

  The article, almost surely written by a man, makes fun of women in general by describing their stereotypical characteristics in a way that a scientist would describe chemicals. Many descriptions such as “Usually covered with coat of paint or a film of powder”, “Boils at nothing and may freeze at any moment”, and “Possesses great affinity [to] gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones of all kinds” may be insulting to many women, but I was surprised by the fact how similar this 78-year old article was to present-day stereotype sexist jokes. This finding, in turn, reminded me of my past realization that the traditional roles of men and women of many cultures do not vary much.

  Growing up in Korea and New Zealand, and attending an American college, I saw almost the same expectations and demands from men and women of all ethnicities I have encountered. Even with major differences among these cultures, including what people wore, ate, and used, the man-woman relationship had pretty much the same theme in their histories. In the time when the East and West did not know about each other, both cultures and even Māori tribes, the natives of New Zealand, assumed that men were supposed to protect and earn money or food for the family, and women were responsible for cooking, raising children, and looking pretty. Even just the idea of marriage and its commitment arising spontaneously in the same way in different cultures tells us that humans have properties toward sexuality that are somewhat inherent and universal (I am referring to each culture’s heterosexual norms). I am not saying we should stick with these stereotypes nor suggesting that we should necessarily break these stereotypes. I think we should at least note what we are born with.

  Today, we are trying to promote equal opportunities for all sexualities, but in certain cases, we cannot do so perfectly. For example, we do not expect male soldier’s combat efficiency from a female soldier, and in fact, that is the reason why female soldiers do not get assigned to frontline infantry positions in the US Army. In creating a society of equal rights for people with all kinds of sexual identities, understanding what we have and have not changed, and what we can and cannot change will be a key to more progressive society. Above mentioned jokes may be written in very casual way, but it could reveal more about how we should approach making changes in our minds.

Source

Homosexual couples often are asked the question “Who is the male and who is the female in your relationship?” Because the majority of us have grown up and have become familiar with the male-female sexuality construct, it is natural for one to want to characterize each individual into one of these two roles. When you think about it, this is a pretty hetero-minded question to be asking. In heterosexual relationships, specific gender roles have set standards and expectations of each party involved. In reality, what we really should be asking is, “Who is in control?”
The genderized role of a male is that he is strong and domineering, and usually is the sole breadwinner in the relationship. Males engage in activities that foster competitiveness and are generally looked at as being on top in the relationship hierarchy. The genderized role of the female is that she is submissive to men and has a more passive personality. The women is supposed to look good and do all of the tasks, such as a variety of household chores, that will make the male’s life easier. These gender categorizations make it easy for one to differentiate who is who in the relationship. This is why we have such a tendency to point out who is more feminine and who is more “butch” in a homosexual relationship.
The most obvious way society determines who is who is simply by the clothes each partner wears. But there are personality traits that are associated with each role. The person that is more “butch” generally wears the pants in the relationship, is more aggressive, and is the breadwinner. I was not surprised when I read in the Relationships and Sexuality article “in gay male couples, income is an extremely important force in determining which partner will be dominate.” Money fosters dependency, which is why in the stereotypical heterosexual couple the male works and the female stays at home and caters to him. Gender roles in homosexual relationships can produce many problems. By deeming one person to be butch and one to be feminine, this confines each to their respective stereotypes. Members may not be able to express their true selves due to the restrictions their gender roles have placed on them.
After reading many articles on the topic, it seems that what a lot of scholars feel really determines the hierarchy in homosexual relationships is which member has sexual dominance. This means that whoever is penetrating is the one in charge. It seems that there is a huge disconnect between the equality homosexual couples want to achieve and what they actually achieve. In an early study, 92% of gay men and 97% of lesbians defined the ideal balance of power as one in which both partners were “exactly equal”. When compared to a later study that asked lesbian and gay couples “who has more say” in your relationship, only 38% of gay men and 59% of lesbians characterized their current relationship as “exactly equal” there is a clear disconnect. Establishing and defining gender roles in homosexual relationships is not black and white. I think we have a very hard time understanding homosexual relationships because of the heterosexual imagery we are constantly presented with and have grown accustomed to.

“£40m for any man who can turn my gay daughter straight: Father’s shock offer after lesbian wedding ceremony” by Mail Foreign Service.

In Hong Kong, a wealthy playboy’s daughter has taken to a different kind of lifestyle than what he was expecting. After Gigi Chao’s lesbian marriage in France, father Cecil Chao announced a reward of 40 million pounds to whichever man that makes his daughter straight. Reading the comments underneath the article made it very clear that most people are outraged by the “marriage bounty” (Mail Foreign Service). Clearly, money can’t buy you everything. The fact that this playboy father publicly announces his rejection for his daughter’s lifestyle proves his intolerance and pure desperation. In Hong Kong, where they’re from, gay marriage is not accepted. I’m not quite sure of the social taboos or the range of acceptance in Hong Kong but perhaps straying from the sexuality norms is not acceptable. In a society that doesn’t have an active awareness campaign and/or very clear populations of LGBT communities, it is very unlikely that individuals will be accepting of, in this case, a lesbian couple. I’m sure the father’s promiscuous heterosexual active lifestyle is part of the reason he is so openly against the lesbian couple.

The South is also often considered an area and culture that is very intolerant of different types of lifestyles especially when it comes to sexuality. In Sweet Tea, homosexual African American men tell their stories of their gay partners. Bob’s story hits close to home; he attended Emory University upon meeting his partner. About his mom’s contact with his interracial partner, he says “Although my mother has been in contact with white people, she had never been in intimate contact with them; she was in a more subservient role” (Johnson 434). Its interesting that his first thought went to race and not much is said about his mother reacted to his sexuality. Perhaps homosexuality was more taboo at this time?Talking about California, Bob says “Because if you think about it back in the 70’s, the civil rights movement had just come into vogue, and in Berkeley it was the in thing to have these interracial meetings” (Johnson 434). The vast difference between his home experience and the diversity he experienced during his time of California portrays a geographical and cultural difference in topics of race of and sexuality. In the South in the 60’s and 70’s, racism was omnipresent. But on the west coast, it was the “in thing” to mix with people of other races. It seems that the other parts of the nation seem to have been more accepting of a broader range of ideals that stray from the social norm while the south maintained its rigidity.

But at the present moment, in Atlanta, I beg to differ. I think this part of the South has opened their minds and hearts to accept to LGBT. I also think that homosexuality is now more of an issue than race. Racism is still present in the South but most likely just as much as it is anywhere in the U.S.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if their was no accepted traditional gender role to follow; that going to a bar meant hitting on whoever caught your eye whether it be guy, girl, or whatever else. I think we’d be a much more tolerant kind of humanity, with more love and compassion for all types of people in all parts of the nation and world. But that’s all a hypothetical really..

[1] Mail Foreign Service. “£40m for any man who can turn my gay daughter straight:
Father’s shock offer after lesbian wedding ceremony.” News. Mail online.                            26 Sept. 2012. Web. 6 Oct. 2012
[2] Johnson, E. Patrick. Sweet Tea: Black gay Men of the South. Chapel Hill: University of                          North Carolina 2008. Print.