“New Study Finds Earth’s Core Will Be Most Habitable Part Of Planet By 2060”


According to a highly experienced team of geologists at Georgetown University, the Earth’s current trends are revealing that its solid inner core will likely be the most livable part of the planet by 2060. The reputable institution from which this originated from even makes readers skeptical of what science has deemed to be impossible over the years. The study’s co-author, Lance Orzowski, reports based on his team’s findings: “In order to ensure future generations grow up and reside in the best environment available, people will need to make preparations in the coming years to move their families to this highly compressed metallic ball surrounded by swirling liquid metal.” By directly addressing the readers’ wellbeing and employing an urgent, authoritative tone, the writer builds credibility while also penetrating the underlying fears amongst the audience members for their own safety. Orzowski presents hard-core facts supporting his findings, one of which  being that the inner core’s year-round temperature of 9,700 degrees Fahrenheit and its pressure of 3.5 million atmospheres would make it the most attractive location on the planet in which to live, work, and raise a family by mid-century. Knowing that the vast majority of the middle class is faced with the dilemma outline above, Orzowski hit home for most readers; however, he certainly did not exclude the wealthy from this finding. Due to the limited surface area- yet another piece of scientific evidence making the idea seem all the more feasible- only the wealthiest would be able to purchase property on the inner core, thereby leaving the rest of the world’s population to “make do” in magma chambers beneath the Earth’s crust. Nevertheless, the article’s similar formatting to most serious scientific pieces persuades readers of the earnest intentions of the writer, making it appear not quite as far-fetched as the title suggests.


Article link: http://www.theonion.com/article/new-study-finds-earths-core-will-be-most-habitable-51071

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One Response to “New Study Finds Earth’s Core Will Be Most Habitable Part Of Planet By 2060”

  1. Lindsey Grubbs says:

    Nice, Kristin. You use great examples from the text to show how this article takes on the air of authority. And your sentence variety (breaking things up with colons, semi-colons, and introductory tags like “nevertheless”), makes this easy and pleasant to read!

    I’d like to see how this could develop if you added in the satirical purpose of the article. The purpose here isn’t really to convince–it’s to entertain. How does that alter your analysis? I think that the authoritative tone is certainly a piece of this (it’s funny because it *looks* legit), but what else is going on?

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