In my revision of paper 1 I placed a lot of attention on embedding my quotes from the article correctly, so that they would flow easily into the sentences. In order to do this I used connective phrases like “…by pointing out…” and then stating the quote, so that it made sense as a complete sentence. I also made use of phrases like “…this can be seen in the statement…”.
Furthermore in my revision, I noticed that there were paragraphs that were not well placed within my analysis, therefore I rearranged a few points, placing points regarding credibility one after the next, such as the ‘scientists’ and ‘spokesperson’ paragraphs. I also removed my paragraph on the analysis of the structure of the article from the end of my analysis and placed it at the beginning after my paragraph discussing the audience that the article is aimed at. I placed them together as I felt that they spoke more on the general techniques and overlook of the article as opposed to the body of my analysis which gives more in-depth reading and focuses on themes relating to each other.