Paper 1 Revisions

After revising my first paper, I realized editing was a long process and it was much more difficult than I expected. As I moved through my essay, I kept seeing flaws about its organization and syntax. In order to fix this, I had to go through each body paragraph individually and decide if it was logically organized and whether there was a more effective way to place my evidence. Additionally, I had to make sure all the transitions flowed and each piece of evidence was followed by a proper amount of analysis. After this long process, I was able to improve a lot of the organizational aspects and insert some more clarity on certain topics. For example, I added more background on US Chinese relations during the mid-nineteenth century regarding the “…anti-Chinese sentiment…” and “…previous prejudices…” in order to clarify the target audience and how the Denver writers used these views to their advantage (Kwok 2). Additionally, I added smoother transitions such as “….then the authors further their story by….” in my second paragraph so there was a more logical flow of evidence (2). Not only did transitions help the progression of thoughts, but I added more evidence from the texts to clarify some of the claims I had in my essay. Lastly, I added in-text citations and a works cited page at the end to ensure credit was given to the sources I used. Overall, I thought the revision did improve the organization of my arguments and smooth out many transitional elements which made the paper made stronger.

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1 Response to Paper 1 Revisions

  1. Lindsey Grubbs says:

    Sounds like this was really fruitful, Kristi! You’ve included helpful evidence about changes you’ve made, and I love the self-citation. To get an even fuller sense of your revision, it would have been useful to hear more detail about how you decided whether or not your evidence was well-placed or logically organized.

    You don’t actually need to use ellipses to intro and exit a quote when it’s clear it’s a fragment of the original quote. You can check the rules on ellipses here: http://www.wwnorton.com/college/english/litweb10/writing/E1a-rules-to-follow.aspx.

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