Paper 1 Revision Changes

I have mostly focused on my paragraph about author/publication credibility.  This paragraph was somewhat weak because I was mixing author credibility with New York Magazine‘s credibility. The author credibility was not really related to the ideas of credibility, because I really needed to address the person who was the subject of the articles credibility, and the fact that New York Magazine is a credible source. I decided to rephrase my topic sentence so that it omitted the idea of author. It went from “Author credibility is vital to making a story convincing, but evidence of Mohammed’s success is important to the article’s believability as well” to “The credibility of New York Magazine is vital to making a story convincing, but evidence of Mohammed’s success is important to the article’s believability as well.” I feel that this paragraph still needs some more improvements, and that topic sentence may change as a continue to look at that paragraph and the paper as a whole. I am beginning to add even more synthesis of quotations in this paragraph and others, and discuss how individual words are so important to believability. The more I examine this paper and the quotation choices I picked, I can see that they are definitely helpful quotations, but there is more to them than I discussed.