Primary Source:

“The page I chose was page 88. On that page, Lenny and his friends FAC (From A Community) with a group of ladies in a bar and compare their information such as “Fuckability”, “Personality” and “Sustainability”. This scene makes me feel dystopian not only because of the lack of privacy but also the void of humanity. Human beings are supposed to contact with each other through words and gestures.”

I integrate this quotation from primary source directly since I want to introduce the scene to readers. However, this way of introduction might seem too abrupt and fails to provide enough content. I quote this part of the story in order to draw a relationship between the picture I chose for that assignment and the novel.

Secondary Source

“In Jessica Hale’s article “Constructing Connectedness: Gender, Sexuality and Race in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein”, she reveals four “relational trajectories” known as familial, homosocial, sexual, and racial in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein by including and referencing to contemporary criticisms. The author then suggests that “these four levels of human interconnectedness” oppose the stability which the society “sought to establish” among families and races in the nineteenth century and thus exposing the fragility behind.”

I refer to this author’s article in order to demonstrate the relationship between the author’s article and my essay proposal. The quotation is essentially the author’s thesis statement, which explicitly expresses the author’s major idea. The way I quote this quotation is fusing the author’s original content with my own words. This way is rather effective and vivid instead of quoting the author’s words verbatim.

Rework

Primary

In Gary Shteyngart’s novel Super Sad True Love Story, the author attributes “Fuckability”, “Personality” and “Sustainability” as quantitative data to human beings. Basically, Shteyngart admonish that the seemingly easy way to socialize corrupts our society and eliminates humanity.

Secondary

Writing in the journal “Constructing Connectedness: Gender, Sexuality and Race in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein”, Jessica Hale complains about “the stability which the society sought to establish among families and races in the nineteenth century”. In making this comment, Jessica demonstrates the essence of her argument is to expose the fragility behind those superficial harmony.

In blog post two, I used a primary source where I stated “On page 38, Lenny, while looking for information about Eunice, comes across her and her sister’s purchases that are mostly comprised of boutiques in L.A. and New York, footwear, and expensive socks.  During his analysis, he feels the need to save them from themselves and ‘the idiotic consumer culture that was bleeding them softly.’”  I introduced the quote, and gave background information in the novel that pertains to that point, so that readers could understand what was being said without having to read the novel.  I didn’t relate the quote to my argument until later, but it would be beneficial to tie in this point before making the next one, which could be accomplished by adding in a sentence or two after the quote talking about the socioeconomic issue faced in this novel that is mirrored in our own society.  I also could have moved, “The novel seems to comment on the societal obsession of consumer culture, and how this dangerous cycle is connected to the financial crisis of America” to follow the quote in order to clarify how this relates to what I’m saying.

I used a secondary source in blog post five, where I expressed, “As Nilles bluntly states, ‘technology seems to be subtly destroying the meaningfulness of interactions we have with others’ and nothing can replace the face-to-face connection of body language, facial expressions, and the attention of another.” I introduced the quote with “as Nilles bluntly states” and made it flow into my writing and opinion by explaining its meaning and using it in my argument to give validity to my points.  I also used it as a platform to build off of for my argument.  I could explain it differently by adding in “the essence of her argument is that” after the quote from her article so that her points are very apparent.

“In contrast to this, while following Turkle’s arguments, Eunice, cut off from technology after the Rupture, sends messages that cannot be received by anyone. In one message to Jenny, she says, “White people don’t really care about old people, except for David who tried to help everyone. And then they shot him like a dog” (265). Eunice changes her earlier seemingly apathetic comments about David to empathetic ones. After spending time thinking about the atrocities and having no connection to technology to distract her, Eunice is finally able to connect to David’s strive to help people and be angry with his death.”

In this primary quotation, I have integrated Shteyngart’s writing into my own. I frame the quote with a full background sentence and then directly introduce it in its own sentence. I then explain what I extrapolate from the quote. Here is one revision to introduce the quote:

In contrast to this, while following Turkle’s arguments, Eunice, cut off from technology after the Rupture, sends messages that cannot be received by anyone. Eunice has newfound agreement with the rebel cause when she writes, “White people don’t really care about old people, except for David who tried to help everyone. And then they shot him like a dog” (265).

“One secondary source Hale uses is an essay by Malchow about Frankenstein depicting race in the nineteenth century. Hale uses this analysis to expand her own by signifying that the monster is not just an explicit “Negro monster” by that of an “other” race (18). This enhances Hale’s argument and clarifies to the reader that Shelley did not choose a race for the monster, yet it can be implied that a completely new race can produce the same messages.”

In this secondary quotation, I have not properly integrated the quote, though I do explain what I took from it and how it related to the text. Here is a (hopefully) better version of introducing the quote:

One secondary source Hale uses is an essay by Malchow about Frankenstein depicting race in the nineteenth century. Hale affirms Malchow’s work as she states, “That the otherness of the monster has strong racial overtones seems like a plausible hypothesis, especially in light of Walton’s misidentification of him as “a savage” at the beginning of the narrative (9).”

In my Blog 7, in order to introduce the main point of an article ‘Technology and the Human Limit’, I quoted a sentence from it: “there are both physiological and psychological limitations conditioning human being”. I integrated this primary source by firstly introducing ‘The author believes that…… ’, then connecting it with our actions of overusing machines and expanding into the environment without boundaries in order to illustrate my point “by talking about human limitation, I can analyze the progressing relationship between human and technology better.” By using the template, I can revise my quotation to be: As a writing concerning about human future and technology development, Baker Brownell says that “there are both physiological and psychological limitations conditioning human being”. In other words, Baker believes that we should respect our destined limitation instead of overusing machines to further destroy our environment.

Additionally, in my Blog 2, I talked about how ‘Super Sad True Love Story’ was foreshadowing our future because people were too focused on high tech to notice their over-reliance on electrical devices. In order to describe the situation of people’s addiction to apparat, I quoted one sentence from ‘Amusing Ourselves to Death’: “people hypnotize themselves into addiction to TV.” I integrated this secondary source by introducing that ‘Just as the world described by Neil Postman in ‘Amusing Ourselves to Death’……’ and then connected it with ‘Super Sad True Love Story’ by talking about their difference and similarity. By using the template, I can revise my quotation to be: Writing in his book ‘Amusing Ourselves to Death’, Neil Postman describes that “people hypnotize themselves into addiction to TV.” Basically, Neil is warning that people’s addiction to TV has severely influenced normal life pace and thinking.

I found only one instance in which I quoted a primary source, Super Sad True Love Story in Blog Post 4, when I explained the scene in which Lenny is being searched by security guards, and that the use of technology by the guards was invasive and a prime example of a dystopic society. In this post I stated, “They scan Lenny’s apparat and deduce that he is guilty of ‘malicious pervasion of data’(p. 130). I introduced this quote as more of a narrative to explain the scene, whereas I could use a template and say something more along the lines of, “after scanning Lenny’s apparat, the guards stated that he is guilty of “malicious pervasion of data” (p. 130), which is somewhat ironic considering the guards are gleaning information about Lenny without his permission. This template makes it easier to incorporate my quote into an explanation of the scene while still capturing my argument that the guards used their apparats to invade Lenny’s privacy.

In Blog Post 7, I quoted a criticism by Leila Silvana May, in which she references another reviewer’s opinion on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. This criticism was my secondary source. I said, “May incorporates Mary Poovey’s statement that the creature is ‘the victim of both the symbolic and the literal . . . it is doubly (and vehicle for) someone else’s desire, yet exposed (and excited) as the deadly essence of passion itself.’” I introduced this quote in this manner because I was explaining how May used another person’s argument to back up her own argument. Using a template from They Say, I Say, I could introduce the quote in the following manner: “Mary Poovey states that the creature is ‘the victim of both the symbolic and the literal . . . it is doubly (and vehicle for) someone else’s desire, yet exposed (and excited) as the deadly essence of passion itself’, which supports May’s argument that the monster represents sororal desire.” This would allow me to show how May uses someone else’s argument to support her own, while still explaining whose opinion I am quoting.

One blog post in which I quoted from a primary source was blog post #4 in which I quoted from Gary Shteyngart’s Super Sad True Love Story. For this blog post I was discussing how it was disturbing that Lenny could access private information that should not be accessible to the public and used a quotation to give examples of information that Lenny was looking at such as cholesterol level and clothing preference. I stated: “I find it very disturbing that on page 38 Lenny can find out that Sally’s ‘LDL cholesterol was way beneath the norm’ and that ‘The Park sisters favored extra-small shirts in strict business patterns’ etc. These are not normal things that one should be able to find on the internet about another person.” I introduced the quotation by saying “Lenny can find out that…” and then inserted my quotations and created the sandwich by stating that these things that Lenny can find online should not be accessible to the public and how it is disturbing that the society runs in this fashion. Using a template on page 47, I could say: According to Lenny, Sally’s “LDL cholesterol was way beneath the norm” and that “The Park sisters favored extra- small shirts in strict business patterns” and in making this information accessible to Lenny, Shteyngart’s point is that the public has too much access to private information. 

One blog in which I quoted from a secondary source was blog post #6 where I quoted Jessica Hale’s article “Constructing Connectedness: Gender, Sexuality and Race in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.” I stated that “Hale continues this argument by explaining the ‘homosocial relationship’ and demonstrating how throughout the novel, the intimate relationship between two men is more desired than an intimate relationship between a man and a woman (marriage is a ‘second-best alternative to the intimate male homosocial relationship’) (Hale 13).” I think I introduced the first part, but the part in parentheses could be better worded. Instead of parentheses I could have said in a new sentence: Hale states that in this novel, marriage is a “second- best alternative to the intimate male homosocial relationship” and thus Hale’s point is that Shelley argues that women are thought to be beneath the men in the social hierarchy of this time period.

For Blog Post #5, I quoted scenes from Gary Shteyngart’s novel, Super Sad True Love Story, which is considered my “primary source” for my final paper. I made references to specific parts of the novel, such as the credit poles on pages 54-55, internet stalking on pages 37-39, and the Staten Island bar scene on pages 90-92. I used these quotations to extend my arguments about surveillance in our current society after introducing the relevance of the novel itself to the topic. I included brief explanations of each scene and how they related to the position I was arguing. Rephrasing these quotations from Super Sad True Love Story is difficult using the templates on pages 46-47 of They Say, I Say, as those appear to be primarily for gathering evidence and arguments from texts. According to Lenny, “the old Chinese woman had a decent 1400 [credit score], but others, the young Latina mothers, even a profligate teenaged Hasid puffing down the street, were showing blinking red scores below 900, and I was worried for them” (Shteyngart, pg. 54).

For Blog Post #6, I analyzed Jessica Hale’s article about Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. This is my considered “secondary source.” On a number of instances, Hale directly quotes from Frankenstein, such as discussing how pages 17 and 18 depict an abnormal family unit. This was introduced in a section discussing Hale’s quoting of Frankenstein, and was related to the topic at hand of analyzing the article itself. Another way of phrasing this quotation is as follows: In Hale’s view, “Schoene-Harwood identifies Alphonse and Henry as “men who feel secure enough in their masculinity to display feelings of domestic affection…who seem perfectly balanced in their manliness which incorporates rather than categorically excludes the feminine” (Schoene-Harwood 16)” (Hale, pg. 13).

One example where I quote from a primary source was in a discussion of communication from Super Sad True Love Story. I introduce the quote by providing context towards the text I am about to display, stating “On page 88, Vishnu introduces the term/acronym FAC meaning Forming a Community. He states”. After using the quote, I describe how this system of communication related to society and even provide a so what factor describing the use of similar phrases coined in modern society and how the progression of messaging is not that far off. However, I fail to fully explain the meaning of the quotation, but rather allow the quote to explain itself, as it does in a way, and continue to my further analysis. To fix this, I can use the template, “In other words, Shteyngart believes”, describing the quote by defining the system of FAC in other, more relatable terminology.

One example where I use a secondary source was in Blog Post 6 through integrating quotations from Hale’s article “Constructing Connectedness: Gender, Sexuality and Race in Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein” to comment on key concept of pleasure which she argues exists prominently in “Frankenstein”. In the second paragraph, I integrated the quotation “the gaze is the object in which the subject can see himself seeing himself” by stating “Additionally, in promoting the concept of pleasure, Hale close reads the quote”, demonstrating her purpose of the quote in promoting the notion of pleasure. I then analyze her quotation and her interpretation of the quotation to further my argument towards the meaning of her claim, introducing the analysis with “Here…”. In order to perhaps alter the sandwich I created I can change “Here” to “Hale’s point is that…” and then follow up with my analysis.

One of the primary sources I have used is available on my post #4. I use a fragment from the book Super Sad True Love Story by Gary Shteyngart that describes how the character Grillbitch was at rage with her boyfriend after she discovered he was cheating on her. The quotation was, “I went on this new Teens site called ‘D-Base’ where they can digitize you like covered in shit or getting fucked by four guys at once and I sent Gopher all these Images of myself getting fucked by four guys at once.” I was able to integrate this quotation by describing what was it that Grillbitch said and then described how ironic it was that according to the book in order to receive respect, you had to “get fucked by four guys.” I was able to introduce the quote by describing the author and the source, and indicate how it relates to my text. But if I were to change it, I would write:
The author Gary Shteyngart introduces a dystopian situation in his book Super Sad True Love Story by exaggerating the way in which a female, in this case Grillbitch, would react if her significant other were to be unfaithful to the relationship. Grillbitch says, “[insert quote here]” After reading these words, one might question her behavior because in these times, if you use your body like that, you would lose respect, not gain it.

One of the secondary sources I used is on my post #5. In that article about the downsides of technology in school, the author says, “what the U.S. education system needs above all isn’t more technology, but a deliberate allocation of high-quality adult supervision focused on those who need it most.” I integrated the quotation by introducing most arguments about technology, the author and the name of the article. I also explained what it meant and was able to relate it with the book Super Sad True Love Story. I would change the way in which I presented this quotation and write this:
The author Kantaro Tomaya is adamant that “[insert quote here]” after discovering that the technology is only a source of distraction to the students. He expresses, in other words, that technology’s primary function is to entertain, not help the students to focus.